jesssssiiiicaaaa

one thing i don’t understand is why everyone I know does drugs now. I did to an extent but i stopped because i could feel myself getting stupid, depressed, and lonely when I had everyone I loved around me. people I know get drunk twice a day, buy people’s prescription drugs to overdose, smoke bud like a fuckin train, down a whole bottle of cough syrup when they’re not sick, and snort lines of anything. okay, I smoked bud a while ago, but it made me feel depressed and stupid and eventually, lonely when the high wore off. I felt dependent on it to make me happy, and that’s not right. it could be because I did it constantly, but either way, I really don’t think the feeling it gives me while I’m on it, is worth the feelings I get when I’m not. i’m not against it, really, I’m not, but it’s all anyone ever does and I’m fucking tired of it. DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS just shut the fuck up. nobody cares. I just choose not to do it, so if you ask me and I say no, don’t look so fucking surprised.

aside from that, today is going to be wonderfuuuul. I get to see the love of my life, my mom is out of town until tomorrow, Dylan and I are getting along, my music sounds incredible, my internet is fast, the weather is nice, my dog is being nice to me and not walking away from me constantly, my dad isn’t home, and I already know what im wearing today! i loooove loove looooooove Caturdays.